Welcome to the 70th Anual Hunger Games
by fictionalfangirl9
Summary: Narrated by Annie Cresta, read about her own experience in the games.
1. Chapter 1 The Homecoming

Chapter 1- The Homecoming

I remember the year like it was yesterday. The year of the 65th Annual Hunger Games. The year that my Finnick was reaped. The year that changed our lives forever. He won those terrible games at the age of only fourteen and I remember watching every minute of it while I was thirteen. I remember the feeling in my heart when he won and I was just so overjoyed to have him back when I thought that I never would. As I watched Snow place that crown on his head I felt like the happiest person in all of Panem. I suppose the odds were in his favor, but were they really? Five years ago, when he came home, I couldn't wait to see my victor. To run into his arms and feel his kisses and stay there forever. To live happily ever after in a large house in the victors village. To have everything that I ever dreamed of having and more. I expected him to feel the same way but ever since the day he got home on that shining silver train he was not the same and I knew it.

I remember waiting for him patiently in the train station, I remember seeing him and I remember running into his arms and hugging him tightly, but only feeling the bare minimum amount of pressure from his arms in return. I pull away from the hug and hold him by the arms, starring into his eyes. He looks as if he is looking right through me with widened eyes, looking at something in the distance, like he is ready for a wave to rise up out of the ocean and just swallow us up. After what seems like and eternal amount of seconds, he blinks and looks me in the eyes, a smile growing on his face.

"Hey Annie," he says to me.

I reply with a soft "Hey Finn" and we walk home as he puts his hand on the lower part of my back sending shivers of warmth up my spine. We decide to go get lunch at the little deli in town that we both love so much. I get a table while Finn goes to the counter to order for both of us. He shortly arrives at the table with two tuna sandwiches but turns his head sharply to both sides before sitting down. I chuckle and say,

"It's alright Finn, no one is trying to kill you here!"

He flashes a small smile and forces out a laugh. But as his smile vanishes he looks over his shoulder one more time, just to be sure.

"What's wrong Finn, why are you acting like this? It's okay really it's just me you can tell me anything. You know that."

"I know Annie, I'd just rather not talk about it here."

We finish out lunch mostly in silence, avoiding talking about the games all together. The rest of the day he spends moving into his new home with his family and I spend sitting on the beach well into the evening so that I could watch the sunset. I sit in our spot, alone, like I had so done so many times in the past weeks. I try to find that feeling inside of myself, the one that I experienced when he was crowned victor, but I just cannot do it. My mind keeps going back to that moment when he got off the train, that look in his eyes, the way that when he hugged me his body felt limp.

"_Shouldn't he be happy?" _

I think to myself. I think about this for quite a while, how Finnick should be happy that he won, happy to be home, happy to see me. But he wasn't happy and because of this I start to feel mad. Mad at him for not realizing how blessed he is, for not returning my hug when he got off the train, for that look in his eyes that scared me so much. Just as I am about to get up and leave the beach in my rage, I feel his arms around my neck and his legs stretch out around mine, as my anger seems to melt away like butter on a hot summer day at the beach. We sit there in silence for a while, just relaxing, not moving. Well, me at least, Finnick is uneasy, fidgety, and no matter how many times I stroke his arms he will not put down that god-forsaken piece of rope that he found on the beach. He just keeps tying and untying intricate knots in it until his fingers bleed.

When I can no longer stand the sight of this, I break the silence by mumbling,

"I'm so glad that you came home to me."

Finnick replies, "You know I am too, Annie. You were what kept me going while I was in the arena. You were everything that I needed to hold onto my sanity. You were my reason to fight, to win. I won for you, Annie. And I am so sorry for the way that I acted when I got off that train today. I haven't been myself, well; I don't feel like myself at least. Those games changed me, and I don't know what to think. All I know is that I'm scared, all of the time, and I feel better when I let my mind go blank. But seeing you today made me feel a little better. It made me remember that all of the blood on my hands and the nightmares on the train was worth it because I get to come home to you." All that I can think to say to him now is,

"I love you Finn,"

So that is all that I say in response as I drift to sleep right there in our spot on the beach, in his arms.

I wake up shortly after to be thrown face first from Finnick's arms into the sand. He had fallen asleep to, but was now thrashing around on the beach, waving his arms, punching the ground, screaming into the salty night air at nobody in particular. The look of terror on his sleeping face was one that I had never seen before, and it sent a different kind of shivers through my body than earlier. It was the cold kind that made me shake because I didn't know what to do. Slowly, I push my face out of the sand and crawl over to him. It first, I touch his face as delicately as I can only to have my small body whacked by an uncontrollable arm. This time, I push myself up with more force and shove my hands on his shoulders, shaking him until he wakes up. His body jolts to a sitting position and his neck whips around to see me. He pulls me into a hug, realizing the nightmare that he just had was not actually real, at the moment at least.

"I'm sorry Annie," He says. "It's just the night terrors, it started happening on the train. Just bad dreams. Don't worry about it. Thanks for waking me"

"I am worried, Finn. That seamed like more than a bad dream and I want to know what's going on in your head."

"There's nothing you can do Annie. I just can't stop reliving all of those terrible moments, the deaths of my fellow tributes, the ones who died on my own trident in the arena. I'm sorry that you can't understand what goes on in my head anymore, but neither can I. I can't expect you to be able to understand what I feel but I promise that no matter what it is, when I wake up, I will always be the same Finnick and I will always be there for you."

My heartbeat is pounding in every spot on my body and I just want to let him know that I don't care if he is different; I love him no matter what. I start to regret the anger that I felt towards him yesterday as I realize that I may never have the old Finnick back.

The games really did change him.

For a moment I snap out of my flashback but continue to think as I mindlessly place one foot in front of the other. That night one the beach I knew that Finnick was damaged beyond repair, but I laugh at how naive I was as a thirteen year old just five years ago. I was naive to think that our lives would ever be the same again, to think that Finnick's victory was a blessing instead of the curse that I know it to be now. I start to remember that night again as I hear myself say,

"It's okay Finn, I will love you no matter who you are, not matter what happens to us, and I'll be here for you. I will always give you something to keep fighting for because I will always love you"

The terror in Finnick's eyes starts to wash away like the tiny seashells at high tide and a smile spreads across his beautiful face. He pulls me close to him and as he puts his fingers in my hair he kisses me more passionately than he ever has before. At this moment thoughts of Finnick's terror getting better and us living happily ever after start to rush back into my head and I kiss him back with an equal amount of passion. I could just kiss him forever but we jolt apart at the sound of a capitol hovercraft flying over the beach. The terror comes back into Finnick's eyes and he quickly shoves me down into the sand. Bright lights appear and shine down on the beach, scanning up and down, left and right. I desperately try to keep my balance and find Finn but as I tumble down the back of the dunes I see him sprint away from the beach.

***  
I open my eyes and I am lying just in between the sidewalk and the dunes. It is pitch black outside and I wonder how I got here. Then, I remember the beach, sleeping with Finn, and the hovercraft. I place my hand under my head in an effort to push my self into a sitting position but when my vision adjusts to the darkness I see that I was laying in a small puddle of my own blood. I must have banged my head when Finn pushed me down the dunes, I think as I stand up and start to walk back to my house, confused by the course of events that just played out in front of me about fifteen minute ago and slightly dizzy. I also become angry again with Finnick for shoving me and leaving me all alone in the night. But the vision of him when we heard the hovercraft quickly invades my thoughts and I can almost feel his fear as the anger leave me yet again, only to be replaced by a series of questions.

"_Why was that hovercraft flying over the smallest beach in four? Why did it scare Finn so much? Was he in trouble for something?" "Was I?"_

All of these questions spin through my mind as I round the corner and my small house comes into a blurry view. The window of my bedroom was left open so the salty air can circulate through it and I can now see the vines that grow endlessly up the sides of my house. I start to run and my small legs allow me just enough height so that I can jump over the bush of primroses that grown in my mother's garden. I nimbly climb up the vine and pull myself through my second story bedroom window. Without even changing out of my sandy clothes I collapse in my bed. I'm exhausted from the events of today and all that I want to do is to fall asleep forever. But my mind will not let me do so as it just keeps generating thoughts and the aching in my temple continues to pound harder and harder as if something we trying to burst out of my mind. I keep seeing the images of the hovercraft with the capitol seal on it and images of Finnick, of all of the different expressions that I saw in his eyes today. The blankness when he got off of the train, the passion when he kissed me, but most of all, the terror when he pushed me down the dunes as the hovercraft flew over our heads. This was not how I expected the day of his return to be. In fact, I did not expect this day to ever come. I know that it sounds bad that I did not put 100% of my faith in Finn, but I just didn't want to get my hopes up. But today when I saw him he was not the same person that left me on the day of the reaping. Everything about him seemed tense and nervous and he was always on edge. As I toss and turn in my bed I try to analyze all that Finn told me on the beach. I understand about the terrors and the dreams and the uneasiness, but there is something that he is not telling me. Something else was going on in his head, he knows perfectly well what it is and I intend to get answers about the hovercraft bright and early tomorrow morning. I decide to stand up to go wash the blood off of my face as I decide that I am not going to get much sleep in the next few hours of the night. But I get to my feet much too quickly and as I see a small drop of blood from my head pass my eye and hit the floor, the rest of my body follows and I black out.


	2. Chapter 2 The Secrets Game

Chapter 2- The Secrets Game

I wake up in my bed again and I look around my room. There is a bandage on my head, which is still throbbing and I wonder what happened to me. I try to think but cannot conjure any memories of how this might have happened. I am about to close my eyes when my mom, Claire, walks in. I immediately sit up as she rushes over to my bedside. "What happened to my head!"

"Oh honey, you don't remember? Well you went to the beach last night, and stayed there rather late. I was walking over to bring you home but I turned around when I saw you with…"

"Finnick."

I say as my memories thankfully return.

"Oh thank goodness you remember dear. Yes, you were on the beach, sleeping in his arms. It was adorable. But this morning when you came in you were collapsed on your floor with a gaping gash on your head! Do you know how this happened? Anyway, he came over this morning hoping to talk to you but because you hadn't woken up I didn't want to let him in."  
"Mom!" I exclaim in anger.

"Oh don't worry Annie, he's been coming over about ever half hour trying to see if you were awake yet. He should be back…"

***The doorbell rings***  
I jump out of bed and start to run to my door but before I can reach it I begin to feel light headed. As my world becomes a blur, I pass out yet again on the floor.

***  
This time when I wake up, I am not alone. I expect the person sitting on the bed next to me to be my mother. I start to ask her to get me some water but when I look up, I am pleasantly surprised at what I find. It's Finnick sitting there on the edge of my bed, arm around my shoulders, feet on the ground, dreamy blue eyes staring at me.

"Hey Annie." He says with a slight smile.

"Do you want anything?"

I sit up and smile at his presence but immediately get a headache thinking of all the questions I intend to ask him. So I start off easy.

"How long have you been here?"

"Oh less that a half an hour. You look awful."

"Thanks, well you don't look too hot yourself." I say in a rather condescending tone as I note the bags under his eyes and pale color of his skin. But I don't fully mean what I say because Finnick will always look attractive, no matter what the circumstances.

"I know Annie, I've been up all night worried about you, and I see that I was right in doing so! I'm so sorry this happened to you; it's all my fault!"

Still slightly angry about last night, I ignore his comment because after all, he was the one who pushed me down the dunes.

"Okay well I have a lot of questions!" I say in the sternest voice I can produce.

Before I can shout all of them at him, he interrupts me.

"I know. And I want to answer all of them for you but…"

"But what Finnick!" I yell at him, still trying to sound mad but failing miserably.

"It just might take some time to explain it so that you understand."

"I have some time right now." I say batting my eyelashes at him and putting on my best puppy-dogface.

"I guess you're not mad anymore?" He says with a laugh, obviously seeing right through my angry façade as I pout my lip.

"Well, I might be until I get some answers."

"Okay well I have an idea. We'll play a game because you must be awful bored sitting in that bed. And my guess is that you're gonna have to stay that way for at least a few days. So we'll play the secrets game."

"What' that?" Is all I have to say.

"Well, you get to ask me a question and I'll answer. But you have to do one thing for me in return."

"That sounds fine, but I can't really do anything without passing out, no thanks to you."

"Okay I see you're still upset! It's fine. I'm going to pretend like that didn't really hurt and we'll start."

"First question, why was a capitol hover craft in Four?"

"Kiss me and I'll tell you"

I sigh because I figure that Finnick will want a kiss in return for every answer, but nonetheless I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. He rolls his eyes at me and laughs before giving an answer that falls short of being detailed.

"The capitol likes to spy."

When I don't reply for a few seconds, he continues.

"They are trying to learn everything they can about my personal life. Snow wants to know everyone that I am close too. That's why I didn't want them to see you. It's not safe!"

"I don't understand what you mean. Why does Snow care about your personal life?"

"That's another question! Kiss me on the lips and I'll tell you."

As I laugh at his ridiculousness and kiss him, I can't help but wonder why he is acting like this, so lighthearted. It's as though he's trying to cover something up. I let him continue with the game, but hope that he will cut to the chase soon.

"It's complicated Annie, and I really want to wait to talk to you about this when you're feeling better. Let's just stick to questions about last night. I don't want to give you a headache."

He says this with a pained smile and I know that he's right. As scared as I am to find out what business Snow wants with Finnick, it makes me sick to think about it so I would rather wait until I am feeling better too. Even though Four is not exactly and outline district and the majority of us live happy lives with plenty of food and a minimal amount of struggles, it doesn't mean that we _like _the capitol. Of course, some people do and somehow find it within themselves to trick their brains into thinking that, in exchange for happy lifestyles, putting 24 children in an arena and watching them fight to the death for entertainment is acceptable. It goes to show that people nowadays really don't care about their rights. They will trade in every right that they have if it means getting to live an easy life. They don't care about freedom and they certainly don't care about the people in the outline districts like Eleven and Twelve who do not live so happily. But I have never though that way, and neither has Finnick. He has actually mentioned the possibility of having another rebellion! I do not agree with that, I think that is insane and that it will just end the way it did the first time around. The capitol will win. But whenever it comes up and I try to reason with him, he refuses to listen.

"Just think about it Annie," he'll say.

"If we all just refuse to have the reaping, or just stop watching the games on TV…"

"But we won't Finn!"

"But if we did…" he'll say again, so stubborn.

And that's usually as far as the conversation would go. I can't imagine how strongly he feels about it after being reaped, but I'm sure that I am about to find out. I am pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of Finnick's voice.

"You haven't seen the things that he will do Annie, it's much worse than just The Games. He'll make your life miserable even if you're a victor; even if you've been promised a life full of riches and happiness, he'll make you wish that you were dead. That's why I got so worried when the hovercraft saw us together last night. I didn't mean to push you but they can't know about us. It's dangerous."

Finnick still will not tell me the whole story. Is he not allowed to have a girlfriend? Why is my being with him putting him in danger? I don't know nearly as much as I want to, all that I know is that he's scaring me to death. I'm done playing the game for now, this afternoon did not go as I planned, so I give up and just stare into his eyes. Finnick doesn't miss a beat and leans in to kiss me. I feel dizzy but ignore the feeling and kiss him back even harder. I could kiss him forever but soon my head starts bleeding again and the bandage desperately needs to be changed. He notices and gets up, removing the bloody bandage and replacing it with a new one without even wincing. I guess he's seen worse that a cut in need of stitches in the past few weeks. It's so dark in my room but I can feel the sun shining outside though the curtains. I'm sick of sitting in here, even with Finnick. I want to go outside and go fishing and run on the beach! But I know that I can't. Almost on cue, Finnick, who could sense my fidgetiness, cracks the window to let some fresh air in, without opening the blinds, and comes back over to my bed. He sits down right next to me with his back on the headboard and I put my head in his lap. He starts playing with my hair and at first I like the feeling. I think that I fall asleep for a while, who knows how long because I could stay in this state of calm with Finnick for an eternity. I can tell that he, however, did not doze off because I feel an endless amount of knots in my hair. Without getting mad, I reach up and take his hands away from my hair, locking my fingers around his. When he squeezes them until blood is not longer circulating, I sigh, untie my hemp bracelet made of three strands of rope, and replace my fingers with the rope in his palms. I look up at his face, which is starring at my white wall as he hesitates before finally starting on the rope. I fall back into a peaceful mindset and work on undoing each knot that Finnick subconsciously made in my long dark hair. After a while, I feel my room getting cooler and I know that the sun must be setting. We've sat on my bed all day, doing nothing, and much to my surprise I loved it. Not wanting this day to end, I close my eyes again but my stomach grumbles rather loudly. Finnick drops the rope, which is now frayed at both ends, and looks down at me for the first time in hours.

"Do you want some dinner?" He says with a laugh.

I look at the clock as I realize that it is already nine and I haven't eaten all day. As I am deciding what I want to eat, my mom knocks on the door.

"Come in."

"Oh good, you're both still here." Says my mom as if she made the funniest joke in the world. When no one reacts, she explains herself.

"I knocked a couple other time during the day but no one replied. I though you too ran away or got into some trouble!" She says, still jokingly.

"But I saw you in here, the door was opened a bit, and decided to let you be. I'm sorry Finnick you should go now, the doctor's here to see Annie."  
He plants a kiss on my head over the bandage and says goodbye to my mom as he leaves to go to his new home, which I realize I have not yet seen.

"Finn, wait! I haven't even seen your new house!"

"Oh yeah, if you feel up to it, come over tomorrow. You can't miss it." He says with a smile.

"And if you're still stuck in here, I'll be over in the afternoon."

He leaves and closes the door and I turn to my mother and the doctor.

"I didn't know you called a doctor, mom."

"I didn't get a chance to tell you today." She replies in an annoyed tone as if she was mad at me for not leaving my room today. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't stand up to go anywhere! But I didn't really try either. I am an only child and my father passed away when I was only seven years old. My mother and I have never been very close to each other. We just grew apart without my dad around to hold us together. Not that he was around much anyway in his last years. He left us here in Four because by some miracle, he was lucky enough to get to move to the capitol. His dad had been from there and met his mom when he vacationed in Four. She moved back with him after they got married and they had my dad and his older brother, both born in the capitol. When my grandparents got a divorce, my grandmother came back here with my dad while my grandfather and uncle stayed in the capitol with my uncle. My dad always wanted to go back there and for whatever reason, wanted a job in the government, whatever form of government it was. So when I turned five he went to live with his brother and eventually worked his way pretty far up the political ladder. The last we heard from him was about another promotion in a letter. A couple months later, his brother came to give us the news that he was dead. And that was it; he died from sickness involving complications with his bloodstream, something to do with bad chicken for dinner.


End file.
